Thursday, April 10, 2008

sitting here right now,

not sure if this is real
or imagined
i know that i am in pain
in my heart
my soul
perhaps a soul sickness
not cured by sunny skies
or medication
and sometimes,
i feel like i am dying slowly
maybe even paying a price
for something that i have done
in this life
or another
....and you never hear of anyone being a carpenter
or a plumber in a past life
it's always a fighter pilot
or joan of arc
and i am just trying to stay between the lines
the boundaries
wondering if i will wake up from this
get up- from this
or die
or go on suffering
with this heavy weight in my chest
and the pale gray sky of april is killing me
some days worse then others
where is may
the summer nights
better nights
where is my god
my answers
the laughter
bring it back to me
or near me
or something
sitting here right now
not sure how to end this line
or the next
sometimes, just to type
i guess
and that will have to be good enough
for all of us

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