Tuesday, January 12, 2010

i have this blog, and

i don't know what to do with it...
i think about quitting
i think about continuing
i think about murder
and hatred
and hiding under my covers
under my bed
in the closet
i have a hammer
and nails
and a heart filled with fear
i think i have about $63 in my checking account-
perhaps i could by some black construction paper
black sheets
black paint
black hole
black heart
black, dark, empty, fuck
i have this blog, and
i have this chemical imbalance
inside of my head
my heart
a lack of faith
or belief
or even worse, both
and i think about quitting this blog
this job
this story
this photo...
whatever happened to not caring
just living
oh, that's right
that didn't work out too well for me, but
i have this blog
i have this sore back
this sore shoulder
a sore spot
a sour spot
an empty spot
fill it, fuck it, find it, kill it,
i have this blog
but i guess you knew that,

No comments: