Tuesday, November 30, 2010

i have signed in to my blog

and the page is staring back at me
i have nothing
feel, little
it has been dark for several hours now
if i were you
i wouldn't expect too much from me
from this blog
yeah

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

my wife wakes up

about half an hour before i do
after she lets our dogs outside
they'll come running back upstairs
and jump in bed
with me
it makes it extremely difficult
to get up-
to go out
because i know what's out there waiting for me
i know how i feel when i participate in life

2 dogs sleeping
snoring
each of them 10 degrees warmer then me
pressed up against my legs
or my back:
there are times when my 2 dogs
sleeping in bed with me
are all i need
most days
it wouldn't take much for me to slam my vehicle right in to you
in to oncoming traffic
in to a mighty oak
a dumpster
fuck
i'll drive that motherfucker right in to a subway
eat fresh you cocksuckers!
2 dogs
10 degrees x 2
this morning was one of those mornings
this day, turned out alright
we'll see how tomorrow goes
whatever...

Saturday, November 20, 2010

if you became homeless today

any/all of your social networking sites would continue on
facebook
twitter
blogger
you get the idea
i check my flickr
and my email
from my phone, quite regularly
i can't help but think that one day, some
homeless guy
will stop me
and ask if he can use my iphone to check his facebook
it could happen...



Friday, November 19, 2010

you can see all of your past mistakes if you look hard enough

sometimes it's when you're taking a shit
or when the cops have you pulled over
it's never very profound
or life changing
that would be too perfect
like laughter
or good medicine
no
it's more like when you're looking at the white bump
on the side of your cock
concerned that it might be "something"
knowing god damn well that it's just an ingrown hair
i've made so many fucking mistakes in my life
and i think this stupid post, is one of them...



Thursday, November 4, 2010

i have neglected my blog

neglected to tell you about my depression
my anxiety
my lack of faith
or belief
in anything greater then myself
my will
my ideas
i've neglected to tell you about my sleeping
my lack of wanting
wanting to get out
go out
to do
to be
i have neglected this blog
my chores
my cleaning
i have neglected the leaky faucet in my bathroom
the dirty dryer vent
i have neglected to clean last years leaves from my gutter
my downspout
i have neglected to thank jesus
to thank god
to thank my wife
my friends
my mother
i have neglected to tell all of them, that
i love them
i am hurting
sometimes
deeply
sometimes, just on the surface
i am in pain
alone
and wandering
wanting
wishing
hoping
dreaming
it hasn't changed
only the names
the faces
i have neglected to tell the truth
to tell the whole story
the right story
i have neglected my blog
my writing
my poetry
my words
the paper
so here it is
unable to sleep tonight
12:32 now
and i am awake
neglecting
writing
posting

and i wish that this were enough
to make me ok
alright, whatever that is
12:33
and i am disturbed...

Monday, November 1, 2010

i forgot to post these on halloween

so,
happy halloween
it's november 1st
in a few days, it will be dark at 5:30 PM
winter, will consume us all
whatever...