Monday, March 20, 2017

when i was 8 years old

this girl named lori
showed me her panties
on the school bus.
i'll never forget those pink panties
and the site of her,
lifting up her dress
i was so excited my dick got hard,

at home
i sat on my steps
thinking, about lori's pink panties...
my dick got hard
i'm sure that i had a hard on before this day
but this is the first time that i ever remember having a hard on.
i sat there for hours-
each time my hard on went away
i thought about lori and those pink panties...

the next school year
lori transferred somewhere else
and i didn't see her,
or her pink panties again.

a few years later
we were driving down fort st
in my mother's 1977 shitty sky blue nova,
the windows down,
my mother smoking a L&M.
i was sitting in the backseat
and then i saw her;
riding a bike,
she pointed at me
in the backseat, of my mother's 1977 shitty sky blue nova
and she laughed;
at the rust
the broken shocks,
the exhaust...

i guess she had never seen my mother's car?
i rode the bus to school when i last saw her
and those pink panties.
i tried to hide in the back seat
so she wouldn't see me
but it was no use.
my mother wasn't aware of any of this
i never said anything to her.
i just sat there
in the back seat
trying to hide
to not be seen,
maybe forgotten...

i never saw lori again after that day,
but i heard from a friend a few years a go
that she was fat
and had a couple of kids
by a couple different men.

i think about her sometimes;
her pink panties
and the way my dick got so hard
at the site of them.

i don't know where she is today
or what she's doing
and i guess i don't really care
if she's fat
or skinny
or how many kids she has.
i just hope that she can still make someone's dick just as hard
as mine used to get
all those years a go,
when she lifted up her dress
and showed me
her pink,

so wherever you are tonight, lori
maybe put on a pair?
for old times sake.

what do you say?

Saturday, March 4, 2017

my mother would have been 70 today

i think about her most days
that i could talk to her.
i'm not any more sad,
than i normally would be
on any given day
it just so happens that today
is my mother's birthday
and she's dead,
for almost 4 years now...

and i guess i'm a little more alone, because of that
in a room full of people
and in a world full of rooms
i am just a little bit more lonely
than i was
about 4 years a go.

maybe i didn't talk to my mother every day,
and i didn't need her for most things
but there's a quiet comfort in knowing
that someone is there, for you.
it's not like knowing your buddy has your back
or that your wife will nurse you along...
those are both important, but
something else entirely.
and i am slightly more indifferent now
for having endured it all
for having buried her
for having to watch her die
in pain.
the kind of pain that you can't help
or make better...

i'm a little less of me
because she's gone
so many stories
so much time spent between us________________gone,
with her leaving this earth.

i think about her most days;
she was a lovely woman
a good mother
a good friend
and i am decent man
because of her...

happy birthday mom, i love you.

Friday, March 3, 2017

i saw this old rv

so i stopped to get a few pics.
i ended up talking to a guy who lived in the shelter next door...
he was pretty knowledgeable about cameras and photography.

a couple days later,
i was shooting some of the demolition that's taking place in Delray
for the new gordie howe bridge,
and one of the supervisors referenced the pedophiles living around the corner...
so i looked into it,
and yup.